Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
