before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
