my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
