Please, let me fuck your mom
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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