Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
