Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
