i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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