I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
A bitchslap is in order.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
