What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
