This house was built for laser tag.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
