Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
