He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
