you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Everclear isn't food dammit
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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