I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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