the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
