if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
