She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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