It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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