I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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