I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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