you would pick up someone in the library
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
