Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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