Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
