I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
