I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
operation have a gay friend backfired
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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