Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
