We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
