also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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