Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
