He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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