I saw his package. It spoke to me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
