ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
