Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
