They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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