The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
