i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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