i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My pussy is not your playground.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
