I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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