Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
