Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
