He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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