The best revenge is premature balding
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Success! We fucked roommates!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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