Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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