dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize