No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
