What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
