her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
