Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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