O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
