my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
