i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
