i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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