I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
