I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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