Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
