Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
