Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
