I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
