I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You ate ashes out of my bong
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
