Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
